The thing about Australia's superiority to Pakistan

The first time in my life I heard an adult use serious curse words was also one of the most momentous occasions in cricket history. The adult in question was Sir Asif, a legendary maths teacher at school, who was a tall, intimidating man with razor-sharp wit. That day, his was the final class we had and I was desperate to go home and find out about what was going to be an epic win for Pakistan. Instead, as we filed in for class, Sir Asif, who had a small radio pressed against his ear, let out a stream of bloodcurdling invective. In between, he revealed that the crooked Australian umpire had cheated and given Justin Langer a reprieve, allowing Australia to chase down an eye-watering target of 369.

That Australia side then embarked on the first of its record-breaking consecutive win sequences that established it as one of the greatest teams of all time. It would be nearly 11 years before Pakistan would win a Test match against them, to add to the four since the previous win. Today, as the two teams line up for a two-match series, an entire generation has grown up that has seen Australia ruthlessly pummel Pakistan in Test cricket.

And yet, it could all have been so different. Had Australia played any tours in Pakistan since that 1999 series, we might not have seen the lopsided scores that have come to characterise the encounters between the teams.

Instead, in the last 16 years Australia are the only team not to have played a Test match on Pakistani soil (even India have played six). To many people, that doesn't come across as a factor in Pakistan's poor recent record against the Aussies, simply because it is assumed that Australia would have thrashed Pakistan anywhere they played.

But it's not that simple. Much is made of Steve Waugh's obsession with India as the "Final Frontier" but in reality Australia had an ordinary record in Pakistan as well. Since Pakistan started playing cricket, its teams have won more matches on Australian soil (4) than Australia have on theirs (3), with two of those Australian wins coming on the same tour, in 1959.

Australia had to wait another six tours, and almost 40 years after then to register their next Test win on Pakistani soil. In between, some of Australia's - and cricket's - most celebrated names came here and went back frustrated, losing six of 13 Tests, including a whitewash in 1982.

However, in 1998 the Australians arrived for their best ever tour of Pakistan, where they won the first Test and dominated the two draws that followed. That tour saw one feature that would keep recurring in encounters between the two sides. All sports teams perform in cycles, and over the last 25 years Pakistan have often faced England and New Zealand, for example, when Pakistan were enjoying successful cycles. In contrast, Australia always seem to be coming around when the normally fragile Pakistan side is going through exceptionally terrible periods. Other than Wasim Akram and a fading Mushtaq Ahmed, Pakistan had no experienced bowlers to speak of in the 1998 series, and the results showed that.

Australia's next tour was scheduled for 2002, right after 9/11 and in an era when American officials were calling up Pakistan and threatening to "bomb the country back to the stone ages". When the Australian board cancelled their visit, the PCB hurriedly found a farcical compromise, with one Test in Colombo and two in Sharjah. This was before Pakistan's era of nomadism began, and no one anticipated that being familiar with Sharjah at the ODI level might not necessarily translate into results in Tests. After Shoaib Akhtar inspired a scare in Colombo, Australia absolutely eviscerated a fractured Pakistani side in Sharjah, and cemented the legend of Aussie dominance. Given that this was one of the greatest teams in all history taking on a poor Pakistan, I'd imagine that the score might not have been too different even if the series had been played in Pakistan, but perhaps it might not have been the humiliation that it turned out to be.

In 2004, Pakistan toured Australia with a side that would soon go on to have a successful era, but wasn't quite ready yet. Australia were still enjoying global domination and handed Pakistan another massive thrashing - a far more one-sided 3-0 than the same scoreline on Pakistan's previous tour.

The next scheduled tour would have been Australia in Pakistan in 2007-08, which would have been interesting. Australia were a side in transition after the retirement of many great players, and would soon slip into a slump. Pakistan themselves had just finished a wonderful spell under Inzamam and Bob Woolmer, and were now rebuilding. This was an era when England, India and South Africa had all undertaken full tours of Pakistan; South Africa's came during a particularly tense period in Pakistan' national politics. Yet Australia pulled out once more, and compensated with a few ODIs in the UAE in 2009. Had the tour gone ahead, Pakistan would surely have had a chance to gain some revenge against a weakened Australian side which had little to no experience in the country.

Finally the two teams did play Tests in 2010, but now the venue was England, making it a total of three different countries outside of Pakistan where Australia played "home" Tests against Pakistan. By then, Pakistan's brief resurgence under Younis Khan had been waylaid and their rash captain retired - seemingly midway during his walk back to the pavilion in the first Test. Yet remarkably Australia still managed to lose a Test against a side that featured several players later revealed to be spot-fixing games.

The Headingley result was all the more memorable because it came only months after the worst-ever tour of Australia in Pakistan's chequered history, a tour that included player revolts, banned captains, faked injuries, and rampant allegations of fixing. The two teams were largely similar when they met in England a few months later, yet the lack of playing at home showed on Australia's performances, with their only win coming on a ground where they have a better record than England themselves - Lord's.

And that is the major point here. True, Pakistan have a rotten record against Australia in the new millennium, but that has been hugely bolstered by Australia's refusal to tour Pakistan. During a time when almost every country undertook multiple tours of Pakistan, Australia never played them in conditions they clearly struggled in.

Which was why so many of us awaited this series with eagerness. After four years, not only had the UAE become familiar, but #TeamMisbah had made it into a fortress. Yet the Australians seem to have the luck of the cycle once more, with Pakistan suddenly without one of their leaders, and their Plan A - Saeed Ajmal. The valiant Misbah seems to have lost interest in life itself, and the team that will take on Australia will be hopelessly inexperienced.

Consequently, it is highly likely that Australia would be able to perpetuate the myth of their superiority against Pakistan, and we will be left trying to provide context once again.